Why I Get "Nothing" Done All Day

If you're a HuffPost reader, you may have seen an article published recently written by Janie Porter of SheJustGlows.com {a blog I happen to enjoy} explaining why SAHMs get nothing done all day. I am one who is frequently trying to explain to my husband why the house looks like a disaster area even though I was home all day. Sometimes I look around myself and think, "GOSH, look at this place! What the heck did I do all day??" And then I remember. I take care of a 4 year old and 15 month old all day. While I really enjoyed reading her explanation of why she gets nothing done all day, there were some striking differences between hers and the reasons I get nothing done all day {spoiler alert: her housekeeper arrived while she was trying to get ready for a play date... that has never happened to me}. And so I was inspired to document a typical day around here and share my own version for what it's worth.

6:30 am - Josh's alarm goes off. It doesn't totally wake me up, but sleep becomes light and intermittent as I hear him up and about getting ready for work. Also, it's sunny.

7:30 am - Josh is about to leave for work and Carsen hears him. He brings her into bed with me so she doesn't wake Reagan. He kisses us goodbye and is on his way. Carsen wants to snuggle. In case you're wondering, by "snuggle" I mean she wants to lay with her forehead pressed against mine and pinch/play with the skin on my neck while she sucks her thumb. Just to clarify.

7:45 am - Carsen is bored of "snuggling" and asks to watch DisneyJr on the Kindle. I hand it to her and reclaim my neck skin. I close my eyes in a somewhat more comfortable position while I listen to an episode of Sheriff Callie in one ear and Reagan stirring around on the monitor in my other ear. If you're unfamiliar with Sheriff Callie, I'd urge you to pull up a clip of it on YouTube and then try to close your eyes and relax while it plays. Doing this in your last 30 minutes of potential rest/sleep for the next 18 hours will help give you the full effect.

8:30 am - Reagan is undeniably up for the day. Carsen jumps up to go in and talk to her while I get dressed, put in my contacts, and brush my teeth. I get clothes for the girls and we head downstairs.

8:45 am - Reagan can not function in the morning until she nurses. She just refuses. I don't even try to do another thing before nursing her, because she's already yelling at me about it before my feet hit the living room floor. I nurse Reagan while Carsen whines about how she's hungry and wants me to feed her first.

9:00 am - Head into the kitchen to get breakfast for the girls. On most days they want some combination of fruit, Greek yogurt, and Cheerios. The order of which varies day-to-day. Today everyone had yogurt first. Since our kitchen table & chairs sold on Craigslist 2 weeks ago, we've been eating on the living room floor. So, we head back to the living room where Carsen feeds herself, and I feed Reagan. I turn on the Today show so I can have a clue what's going on in the world today, and I learn something useless like what's trending on Google.

9:15 am - The girls are ready for their 2nd course of breakfast which today is Cheerios. Carsen asks for hers in a bowl with milk and Reagan gets hers on the tray of her high chair. Since they can both manage this themselves, I'm free to make something for myself for breakfast at this time. I pull out the eggs to make my usual scrambled eggs with parmesan and whatever suitable meat is in the fridge. I also prepare two cups of milk to take out with me for the girls.

9:30 am - Momentarily the girls are finished eating. I wipe their hands and faces, give them their milk cups, and sit down to eat my breakfast. Both girls stand in front of me asking for my food. Carsen asks politely for a "taste" while Reagan frantically signs "eat" while yelling "ee, ee, ee, ee!" and climbs onto my lap. I share a few bites and shoo them away so I can eat. Carsen obliges, Reagan does not.

10:00 am - I manage to finish my breakfast and start hauling all the dishes into the kitchen. While standing at the sink I'm reminded to grab a mug for coffee. I place it under the Keurig and go back to the dishes.

10:05 am - Crises in the living room. Reagan is standing on the couch changing tv channels and Carsen needs help opening a bin of Barbies to play with. Reagan has pooped. I change her diaper and decide I'll try to catch the host chat segment of Kelly & Michael. Carsen is now playing the xylophone and Reagan wants to climb on me.

10:15-11:00 am - We play, dress up, cry, sing, fight, and read books.

11:00 am - I decide it's time to head outside for a little while. I go out onto the deck to clear spider webs from the night before and wipe out the water table. I spend about 10 minutes getting the water table wiped, positioned for maximum shade, and filled with water. Another 10 minutes passes while Carsen uses the bathroom and I get shoes on everyone.

Note: this photo was taken from inside the house after we played, because it hadn't occurred to me to take any photos of our day before this moment. 

11:30 am - We're outside enjoying some sunshine and splashing in the water table. This lasts about 20 minutes before the girls are too hot {bright red sweaty faces} and ready to go in.

12:00 pm - The girls play in the play room while I try to empty the dishwasher. I get about 3/4 finished before my help arrives.

12:15 pm - I notice my coffee cup still sitting under the Keurig awaiting the coffee I never made. I make coffee and join the girls in the play room.

12:30 pm - Reagan is signing to "eat" and wants a snack before her nap. I give her a banana, clean her up, change her diaper, and take her upstairs to bed. Carsen asks to watch Super Why while I put Reagan to bed.

1:00 pm - Back downstairs to make lunch for Carsen and myself. Since we're eating in the living room I let her continue watching Super Why while we eat. After lunch she lays on the couch to rest. I've decided that napping for 3 hours was just too much of her day at age 4. If she's not interested in resting on the couch, it's at least time for her and I to spend 1-on-1.

1:30 pm - While Carsen rests I have a minute to reply to texts, emails and FB messages about things I've posted for sale. I try to get back to everyone and coordinate times/days to meet up, answer questions, etc.

2:30 pm - I retrieve another half a dozen items from the basement that I need to take photos of and post for sale. I work through taking photos first, then start writing up the postings on Craigslist, then add photos and info to my FB "for sale" album.

3:30 pm - Reagan wakes up. She needs a diaper change and we play for a little while.

4:30 pm - We go back outside on the deck to play again. There's more shade in the afternoon so we get close to an hour of outside time.

5:30 pm - Josh is home from work. The girls are happy to see him and are immediately done playing outside. I clean up and drain the water table and head inside to make dinner.

5:45 pm - I prep dinner while Josh and the girls play. Reagan visits the gate in the kitchen doorway frequently to fuss at me and let me know she'd like me to hold her / she'd like to come in to play with the recycling and throw my dish towels on the floor. I simultaneously try to finish my cup of coffee.

6:15 pm - Dinner is ready. I cut some up and take it to Reagan. She's happy to see food. Carsen whines about her dinner which I'm on my way back to the kitchen to get. Josh feeds Reagan while I get Carsen's plate and my own plate ready. I return with our food while Josh goes to get his. Reagan is done with her food first and then proceeds to other family members to beg/borrow/steal from their plates.

7:00 pm - Dinner is finished and I clean up while Josh and the girls play a little more. After cleaning up I join them for some running around and giggling.

7:45 pm - We sit down to read a few books to settle before bed. Carsen doesn't want to read books. Reagan chooses a few of her favorites. Carsen sits down with us despite not wanting to read books and complains about the choices. I suggest she choose a few herself. She goes upstairs to her room and returns with the complete Beverly Cleary collection, Ramona Quimby - Ralph S. Mouse {a boxed set we have for her for later}.

8:00 pm - Reagan realizes someone is on the stairs and immediately wants to go up for bed. She's funny like that. I quickly change her diaper and put her in pajamas. She whines through hugs & kisses as they simply delay her getting upstairs for bed.

8:30 pm - I nurse and rock Reagan, then put her in bed. Josh lets Carsen choose a few videos to watch on his phone while they snuggle.

9:00 pm - I get back downstairs and have Carsen use the bathroom and brush her teeth. Normally Josh does bed time with her while I'm rocking Reagan, but I told him I'd do bedtime for both girls tonight. So I take Carsen upstairs, say bedtime prayers, and again "snuggle" with her, this time in her bed, for 5-or-so minutes.

9:30 pm - I'm back downstairs. This is the hour or so to accomplish anything that hasn't been accomplished today. It's also the only time Josh and I have to spend together without the girls. Much like my time with them during the day, it's hard to choose this time for chores. So, I straighten up a little and check back in with Craigslist/FB buyers. Then we sit on the couch for a little while, chat about things {mostly moving and what needs to get done}, and have a snack.

10:30 pm - It's time to head upstairs. I need to take a shower. Josh gets ready and goes to bed. By 11 I'm in bed myself. Most nights we don't hear anything from the girls, but I'd be lying to say they never wake up - they're kids. This particular night Reagan was up at 3:30 and wanted to be rocked back to sleep. Aside from that 20 minutes of awake time, I started this whole crazy routine over again around 7 the next morning.

So, it's not really that I get nothing done all day, it's just that I don't always get done what other people might think I should. I get plenty of playing, laughing, and caring for children done. I do art, and lessons, and reading. We run errands, attend story time, and visit friends and family. But this is why there is dust, and laundry, and crumbs. This is why some days we look around and every single thing we've done is evident, as well as everything we haven't done. What a mixed up world we live in that we consider a mother spending all day raising and nurturing her children to be getting "nothing" done. Yet the "something" we'd have her do instead is wipe dust off of end tables and fold laundry. Are we serious? If you're asking me, the things I accomplish are far more valid uses of my time as a stay-at-home-parent than if I were doing housework all day. Which of these has more impact on the world? Which of these is a more accurate measure of the person I am? Most importantly, which of these matters most to my family? Sure, a house needs taking care of and chores need to be done. Don't worry, mine get done {and not by a housekeeper}. I find the time here and there to do those things and we're all none the worse because a little dust sat around for a few days. This time that I have to be home with my children is so so short and the most important time of my life. One day when I look back on it, I don't want to remember hours and hours of chores or a sparkling clean house. I plan to remember laughs and snuggles and make-believe and tickles and kisses and dancing and stories. Hopefully I think of all the fun we had and struggle to recall how or when the chores ever got done at all.

One of Those Mornings

You know the ones... the baby wakes up to eat at 5 (after eating at 3:30), then you spend two hours trying to convince her to go back to sleep before giving up and starting the day with a headache and a giant cup of coffee, knowing that there is nothing but fussiness and screeching ahead of you since the 6-month old decided to start her day at 5 am and has a check up (including shots) scheduled at 9. You know... those mornings.

I went about throwing myself together, dressing the baby, and tossing Carsen's clothes on her bed without saying a word. I hauled Reagan downstairs with me and sat her in her exersaucer while I got breakfast ready for Carsen and myself. Then, just when I'm convinced that this is going to be one long, miserable day, while I slammed things around in the kitchen I had a moment. I looked around and this is what the girls were doing...

Clearly there was nothing actually wrong with my day except for my bad attitude. After being snapped back into reality, I decided that a little change in perspective could make all the difference today. It was going to be a good day because I was going to make it a good one. Instead of my precious sleep being cut short, I had extra precious time with my babies. Instead of Reagan fussing at me for 2 hours because she hates when I sleep (sometimes I actually wonder this), she just wanted to spend time with her mama. One day too soon those mornings of waking up to her smiling pink cheeks will just be memories so instead of being irritated, I decided to be thankful. Instead of having one of those mornings, it became one of those mornings when I can't believe how blessed I am.

Happy Friday :)

Life With Two: Part 2

What better way to describe what life is like with our two girls than a "day in photos" post? It's been a long time since I've done one of these and it was a bit more tedious to remember to photograph everything while taking care of two little ones, but I think this captures our day(s) pretty accurately.

The day begins whenever Reagan decides she's up for the day, which is usually somewhere between 7-8:00. I start by feeding her. Sometimes Carsen is already awake but she generally just looks at books while she's waiting for us to come in and get her.

After she eats, Reagan hangs out on the bed while I get dressed and ready for the day.

Once I'm ready, we head into Reagan's room and get her dressed. Then we go in and get Carsen. Carsen loves for me to put Reagan in bed with her so they can snuggle and talk to each other. This is when I grab Carsen's clothes for her.

We head downstairs and Carsen gets dressed while I get our breakfast ready.

Today it was baked cheesy eggs (pre-made, Reagan doesn't allow much time for cooking breakfast!)

While breakfast is heating I make my coffee.

Reagan swings in the swing (or plays on the floor, etc) while Carsen & I eat.

After breakfast, it's play time!

Around 10:00 Reagan is ready to eat again and take her morning nap. I usually just let her nap on the couch or in her bouncy chair right in the living room. Taking her upstairs would mean leaving Carsen unattended downstairs for 20 minutes or so and I'm not crazy about doing that.

Carsen does her best to play quietly while Reagan naps.

After Reagan wakes up, usually around 11-11:30, we go out to take care of any errands we need to run. This was a Friday which means gas and grocery store! If we don't have errands to run we'll use this time to go to the park or play outside at home depending on the weather.

We're in-and-out of the store with 2 weeks of groceries in less than an hour and less than $100. My secret: meatless dinners! Shhh... don't tell my husband ;)

When we get home, it's 12:30 which is lunch time for Carsen and bed time for Reagan. I put Carsen in her high chair to eat while I take Reagan upstairs for her nap.

I'm back downstairs by 1:00. While Carsen finishes her lunch, I make something for myself. 

When Carsen is done eating, she goes potty and I take her upstairs for bed. I'm usually back downstairs around 1:30-1:45 to finish my lunch and clean up a little. Some days I clean the house during nap time {dusting, cleaning floors, laundry, etc} and other days I just tidy up and then either do a workout, a DIY project, or just catch up on emails. This day I did some yoga. Reagan still wakes up once or twice during her naps sometimes so yoga or another strength training workout make it a little easier {vs. a run on the treadmill} to stop for a minute and run upstairs if needed.

*Side note... I use an app on my phone called All In Yoga for my yoga workouts. You just pick a program and hit start and it's like having your own instructor in your living room. It talks you through the workout just like a yoga instructor at a studio, complete with relaxing background music :)

Then, the tiny girl wakes up around 3:00. {If you notice the time on the screenshot above, you'll see that I got in about 15 minutes of my workout before it ended. C'est la vie!} 

Time for a diaper change and a feeding.

We enjoy some mommy-Reagan one-on-one time while Carsen is still napping.

Carsen is usually up between 4-5:00. When she gets up, she has a snack and then we just play until Josh gets home from work. When he gets home he takes over the playing while I make dinner.

Friday we had dinner plans with friends, so when Carsen woke up and Josh got home we piled into the car and headed out to their house about an hour away.

Our friends have a 10-month old daughter who our girls thought was just awesome :)

After a delicious dinner, our friends took us to a nearby farm which has a creamery. Carsen loved visiting all the animals and of course enjoyed some fresh ice cream.

After ice cream we headed back home for bed time. On an ordinary night, we start baths around 7-7:30.  After baths I put Reagan to bed while Josh gets Carsen ready for bed and snuggles with her. Once Reagan is in bed, I go in to kiss Carsen and she usually begs me to snuggle for a few minutes which I can't really say no to. After snuggles I either take my shower, or head back downstairs to hang out with Josh. Sometimes there are residual chores like laundry to fold or dishes, but I like to use that time for Josh and I as much as possible. We are usually in bed around 10:30-11:00 and ready to start it all over again the next morning!

Some days are crazier than others, but I have to say that I wouldn't have things any other way. I'm quite in love with our little life and the cute people I get to share it with :)

Life With Two: Part 1

It's been a while since I sat down and composed a nice wordy post, but I felt like this was kind of an overdue update. Anyone with more than one child already knows what I'm going to say, but I'm putting it out there anyway as fair warning to young couples and parents of only children.

Back when Carsen was born, I did a little series of posts about transitioning to becoming a mom and all the ways life changes and how your whole perspective on the world changes. Consider this my post about the transition to parenting two. Simply put, it is simultaneously amazing and hair-raising.

Let's start with the hair-raising part.

One of the most basic differences in having two is that someone is almost always screaming for something. If I need to do something with one, the other immediately needs me. I won't say they do it knowingly, but sometimes it seems that way. You're only one person and yet two people need you to do two different things at the same time. And there is nothing more grating than trying to do anything while an infant screams... except trying to get a toddler to do something anything while an infant screams. Oh my. Molasses is the only way I can describe Carsen's actions when Reagan is crying. Half of it is probably my own anxiousness about speeding up the process so I can help Reagan, but Carsen just does not have that sense of urgency. When I only had one baby I was able to address her needs immediately, but a second baby just has to wait sometimes. And that first baby who is so used to being helped right away also has to wait sometimes. My favorite is when I'm 3 minutes into feeding Reagan and Carsen needs to use the potty which she can not do entirely on her own. If you want to know how to tick off a baby, interrupt their eating and walk away from them.

It's also more complicated to go anywhere. The toddler has to be trusted to stand on the sidewalk and not run into the street while you put the infant in the car, or you have to leave the helpless infant sitting on the ground in their car seat while you stand half-way in the car buckling a toddler. Both of those situations stress me out. Now, add rain to that scenario. Whoever waits while the other one gets buckled is out in the rain, and you the parent are in the rain the whole time. I don't even bother going anywhere if it's raining. Then when you reach your destination you have to be able to contain both children in some fashion. One in the Ergo, one in the shopping cart? One in the car seat in the shopping cart, one in the actual basket of the cart, no groceries? One in the shopping cart, one walking (refer back to molasses analogy in previous paragraph)? It's always different depending on where you're going and what you need to do there. I'm often asked by the cashiers in Wegman's if I'll need help when I get to my car. I actually have a pretty good system for the grocery store. Reagan's in the Ergo, Carsen is in the seat of the cart. Reagan goes in the car first, then Carsen, then groceries go in the trunk. It looks worse than it is. I'm in awe of people who shop with more than 2 children (ahem -- Laura ;), but I suppose with experience you get your system down.

Ready for the amazing part?

First of all, you did it again. We have yet to stop marveling at Carsen. I'm pretty amazed by her every single day and the fact that this incredible little person is my child. I'm fairly certain this will be the case forever. Now there's another one. We did it again. And she's no less incredible than her big sister. Pretty amazing, I think. People talk about wondering how they'll love a second child as much as they love their first. It's easy. You see them, hear them, smell them, you're in love. There's no one else that will ever happen with as it does with your child. It's amazing. There's just no other experience this life has to offer that could compare to being a parent.

So while they are each so wonderful on their own, seeing them together melts my heart like I never thought possible. They simply light up at the sight of each other. Reagan smiles and laughs at Carsen more easily than anyone else. Carsen says things like, "Mom, I LOVE my baby sister. She is the BEST sister in the whole world!" or "I love Reagan. She's my BEST friend!" Of course, she's three so she doesn't necessarily grasp what it means to be the best anything in the whole world, but she clearly understands the sentiment. I love that they are sisters. I love that they will share such a special and unique bond. I love that they'll have all of the fun sister experiences I had with my sister when we were little and have now as adults. I love that they love each other in the truest and simplest way - just because of the fact that they're sisters - and so look forward to cultivating that as they grow.

There ya go. Hair-raising, and yet amazing. Totally wild and crazy and wonderful all at once. And so very worth it :)

The 4th and a First

We got a new car. Our crossover was maxed out with 2 cars seats in the back and a stroller in the trunk. We got a really good deal on this one and so far we super love it. 

Our family photo from the 4th. I was kind of impressed that we're pretty much all looking at the camera. Small victories :)

You can't celebrate 4th of July without some water fun. Squirt guns with her cousins.

My little tiny baby trying to grow up on me

Her first play date with friends of ours from VA. Their interaction was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. They actually cooed back and forth at each other. It was adorable.

Lazy Sunday - I love it when she wants to play "happy nap."