You Are My Sunshine First Birthday Party

We have a one year old! I've spent the past few weeks planning and DIYing Reagan's "You Are My Sunshine" FIRST birthday party! I thought it would be a perfect theme for a late March birthday when we're just beginning to emerge from the cold, gray winter. It turned out to be even more perfect than I anticipated as the weekend was a complete weather wash-out. Saturday was a torrential downpour all day, and Sunday was a pouring rain-turned freak snow storm! Indeed, Reagan provided the only sunshine of the entire weekend and she was all the sunshine we needed :)

{Side note: I plan to write up tutorials for the things I DIYed, and I'll update this post with those links when I get them written. They'll be their own separate posts though}

Invitations

Here's a {kind of terrible} phone pic of the invitations. I found a few that I liked on Etsy via Pinterest but none were exactly what I was looking for. The more I looked at them, the more they looked DIY-able. I finally tried mocking up a few options myself with some cardstock and scrapbook paper and came up with a very similar result for a fraction of the cost.

Decorations

I made a simple felt birthday crown for her to {not} wear. You know how much children love to wear their birthday hats! And a paper bunting to decorate her high chair.

I did a birthday banner out of scrapbook paper, cardstock and ribbon. I also made a sun and clouds out of tissue paper puffs.

I made this canvas to impart the party theme and also as a hand-made piece of art for her bedroom :) 

I found that adorable "You are my Sunshine" photo frame on Amazon and knew it would be perfect for a little throwback newborn photo for the table :)

Had to have some striped paper straws, even though the birthday baby doesn't drink from a straw. What party in 2014 is complete without them?? 

It was also my opportunity to incorporate a mason jar. That's right, "a" mason jar. I originally envisioned them to actually drink from, but let's be serious. It's a party for a one-year-old with a bunch of other little kids.

Anyone on Pinterest has seen these adorable chalkboard posters with fun facts about the birthday baby. Once again, this was something I knew I could DIY. It may not be quite as perfect, or employ quite the variety of lettering as some of the ones for sale on Etsy, but I was rather proud of it.

The Food

The food was very simple. We just had some snacks and cupcakes. I made a "rainbow" fruit tray, and had some cut up cheese and Chex mix {SO original, I know!}.

The cupcakes were lemon with coconut frosting, made gluten free with coconut flour. The recipe needed some tweaking. Usually I do a test run of a new recipe but ran out of time, so the party batch was my first go. They were pretty good and very easy to make, but I'd  do a few things differently if I made them again.

Originally I had planned to frost them with an orange center and yellow beams around the edges to look like suns, but after baking 4 dozen of them at midnight I lost all desire to mix multiple colors of frosting and attempt any kind of artistic decoration. It's all good. No one complained. Not even the birthday baby ;)

The Fun

Our kids have lots of cousins so we felt they were plenty of guests. For fun, the kids actually just played in the playroom with toys we already have. They were excited enough to play with each other that I really didn't need any planned theme activities. 

I also skipped party favors. I know our siblings well enough to know that party favors are extremely unnecessary. I have done them in the past, but they do add a considerable load to the planning process (and the budget) if you're going to make them worthwhile. I don't like coming home from a birthday party with a bag full of cheap plastic choking hazards, so I'm not going to do that to others. And by the time you put nice, useful favors together you've spent $10 per child and hours planning, collecting supplies, and assembling said favors. All this to say: no feelings were hurt in the exclusion of party favors :)

A first birthday is such a fun milestone, and yet it's a little bit bittersweet. But if I learned anything about motherhood from our firstborn, it's that when one stage ends there are a million reasons to be excited for the next. We had a fun weekend full of birthday love for our sweet little one-year-old. What an amazing, joyful, sleepless, fun-filled first year we've had with Miss Reagan! We can't wait to see how she grows and learns and steals our hearts in year #2!

...Aaaand now it's time to get started on Carsen's "Princess Aurora" party on April 26th!

The No-Cry Sleep Solution & A Sleep Update

A little while ago I wrote about some of the struggles we've been having getting Reagan to take regular naps. She had been doing pretty well at night, never put up a fight when it was time to lay down, but for most of her naps would wake up after 30 minutes. I had tried a handful of different things- laying her down earlier, laying her down later, swaddling her, not swaddling her, putting her to bed in her crib, putting her to bed in the co-sleeper in our room... you get the idea. None of those things changed her pattern for the better, some made it worse.

Feeling frustrated, I decided to check out The No-Cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. As a practitioner of Attachment Parenting, I knew I wanted to try solutions that were as gentle as possible and didn't involve abandoning her to cry until she couldn't cry anymore and just passed out. So, I read the book and loved it. I decided to go with The No-Cry Nap Solution instead of The No-Cry Sleep Solution because we were struggling much more with nap time than bed time at night, and I thought it might have some insights that were more specific to our issue.

As far as the book itself, I thought it was great. I liked the way it was broken down by various different struggles and solutions so that if you knew what you were having trouble with you could go right to that section and see what was suggested. I personally decided to read through the majority of the book anyway just in case I found ideas that we could use. The advice was practical, which I appreciated. There was also enough variety of solutions offered that you could choose what works for your family. Personally, we live in a multi-level house, so pushing the baby around in the stroller until she fell asleep and then parking her in her bedroom (where you eventually want her to sleep) was not an option for us.

On the other hand, we hung blackout curtains and downloaded a white noise CD right away. We began using her bedroom for nap time {instead of the co-sleeper in our room where she slept at night}, and with the dark curtains and white noise, she was taking 2+ hour naps in less than a week! It was pretty miraculous. Just when we felt like we had tried adjusting every variable and nothing was going to convince her to sleep, three simple changes made all the difference. I can't say for sure if one of the three was the real key or if all of them together was some magic formula, but finally something worked.

And just like in the movies when you think, "well that was easy, everything is resolved and we're only 20 minutes in!" ...the plot thickens.

On New Year's day Carsen came down with a cold, and by the weekend Reagan had it. It was a pretty nasty cough complete with sneezing and runny nose. Of course, this interfered with sleep. Reagan started waking up after napping for only a short time again. I knew she was having a hard time breathing even with the humidifier in the room. This is where I made the crucial mistake. One day she woke up coughing and crying and I couldn't get her calmed down enough to go back to sleep. When I brought her downstairs with me she fell asleep in my arms. I didn't have the heart to take her back upstairs and put her in her bed {knowing it would wake her right up}, so I did what I think most moms would do and snuggled my sick little baby. She slept for another hour. Unfortunately, from that point on, naps became hit or miss. I figured it was partially due to her cold, and partially because she was just out of rhythm from being sick. Then a few days later we were going to visit grandparents for dinner and she had skipped a morning nap, then woke up after a 30 minute afternoon nap. Knowing that she really needed the rest, I decided to hold her and let her sleep a little longer. After that naps became a huge struggle. She woke up after 30 minutes every time and refused to go back to sleep unless she was being held. Now that our reforms were no longer doing the trick, I was kind of back at square one and wondering what to do next.

Here's a confession: I began to realize that the No-Cry approach might not cut it.

As I tried desperately to get her to fall asleep and stay asleep, things just got worse and worse. She went from taking short naps, to waking up as soon as I put her in bed, to not even falling asleep after nursing like she always had. She would start crying and wiggling as soon as she finished nursing because she knew the next step was the bed. I tried holding her for 20 minutes to make sure she was good and asleep, but the screaming started again as soon as I'd lean forward even the slightest bit to put her into the crib. I tried staying with her, rubbing and patting her back, shushing and soothing. She eventually wouldn't even stay laying down for me to help her fall asleep. It was hold her or nothing. Every nap had become this traumatic, hour-long screaming event. Hardly a no-cry situation.

To make matters a little more complicated, this was all happening right before Josh took a trip with his brothers for 4 days during which the girls and I stayed with my mom. While our nap schedule and routine was falling apart, we were about to really start over in a new house, new room, new bed. Cheers! That was a week ago {Thursday-Monday}. I can say it didn't go terribly. She slept better at nigh than she did for naps. I just decided to power through and get back on track when we got home.

We returned home on Monday afternoon. Both girls conked out right away in the car on the way home even though it's less than a 30 minute drive. I was prepared for a rough night, but was resolved that if it was going to be a rough night anyway, we were going all in. Reagan was going in her crib in her room, for nap time and bed time, and we weren't looking back.

Here's another confession: We kind of cried it out... and it worked.

I realized that going into her room every time she cried was just encouraging her to cry. At 9 months old, having previously taken stellar naps in her crib, during which I had witnessed her stirring and going back to sleep on her own, I knew this was not a matter of her needing my help to fall asleep, or being frightened or uncomfortable in her room. For the record, the case Attachment Parenting makes against CIO is that the baby is crying because they need comfort from mom or dad and assistance falling asleep. Only because I knew that was not the case for her, was I willing to leave the room. I remain a firm believer in Attachment Parenting and strongly disagree with CIO for younger babies. So Monday night began a new routine that I was resolved to stick to. I nursed her, rocked her, kissed her and put her in bed. The only reason I'd go back in was if she dropped her paci out of the crib. In that case I went in, gave her the paci, laid her back down, and left. She cried, but not for long. I knew that she knew she was in there to go to sleep, and that's what she did. She woke up once or twice during the night and after a few minutes of fussing went right back to sleep. Tuesday we did the same thing for naps. Again, she cried when I left the room but then took nice long naps. Tuesday night she only woke up once. She took great naps the rest of the week and by last night {Thursday night} she slept through without waking up at all- or at least without crying.

In less than a week, she is barely crying as I leave the room and quiet by the time I make it 3 steps down the hall to the stairs. She and I and my husband are all much better rested. She is more content throughout the day and has even been more adventurous exploring the house like never before. I can't say enough about the difference that extra sleep has made for the whole family. There has certainly been extensive research on the health benefits of adequate sleep, and everything I've read about health from losing weight to balancing hormones to clearing acne cites adequate sleep as a recommendation. In the No-Cry Nap Solution, Elizabeth Pantley explains in great detail the reasons why naps are vital to children's growth and development. She describes the "gifts" of nap time- the benefits children get during naps that they miss otherwise, even when they get adequate night time sleep. To say the least, this has been a major positive change in The Luckiest household.

As I have often said, more than anything I'm a believer in doing what works. I love AP. Love it. I will continue to use it forever and ever. But I have to do what works for my family and my children, even if it's not what AP recommends. If there is one thing we all must be as parents, it's flexible. In this case, flexibility paid off. We tried something new and scary, something I thought I'd never do, and we were rewarded greatly. I think the take-away message here is to never say never, and trust your gut. Despite what my philosophy-of-choice recommended, we branched out because it wasn't working for us. I knew leaving the room would teach her that bed time was bed time, no games. I listened to that mom-voice, and here we are!

I'd love to hear from others if you had sleep troubles with your little ones and what worked for you! I'd also enjoy hearing stories from others who had to depart from their parenting philosophies when something just wasn't working. Have you ever tried something you thought you'd never do as a parent??

Life With Two: Part 1

It's been a while since I sat down and composed a nice wordy post, but I felt like this was kind of an overdue update. Anyone with more than one child already knows what I'm going to say, but I'm putting it out there anyway as fair warning to young couples and parents of only children.

Back when Carsen was born, I did a little series of posts about transitioning to becoming a mom and all the ways life changes and how your whole perspective on the world changes. Consider this my post about the transition to parenting two. Simply put, it is simultaneously amazing and hair-raising.

Let's start with the hair-raising part.

One of the most basic differences in having two is that someone is almost always screaming for something. If I need to do something with one, the other immediately needs me. I won't say they do it knowingly, but sometimes it seems that way. You're only one person and yet two people need you to do two different things at the same time. And there is nothing more grating than trying to do anything while an infant screams... except trying to get a toddler to do something anything while an infant screams. Oh my. Molasses is the only way I can describe Carsen's actions when Reagan is crying. Half of it is probably my own anxiousness about speeding up the process so I can help Reagan, but Carsen just does not have that sense of urgency. When I only had one baby I was able to address her needs immediately, but a second baby just has to wait sometimes. And that first baby who is so used to being helped right away also has to wait sometimes. My favorite is when I'm 3 minutes into feeding Reagan and Carsen needs to use the potty which she can not do entirely on her own. If you want to know how to tick off a baby, interrupt their eating and walk away from them.

It's also more complicated to go anywhere. The toddler has to be trusted to stand on the sidewalk and not run into the street while you put the infant in the car, or you have to leave the helpless infant sitting on the ground in their car seat while you stand half-way in the car buckling a toddler. Both of those situations stress me out. Now, add rain to that scenario. Whoever waits while the other one gets buckled is out in the rain, and you the parent are in the rain the whole time. I don't even bother going anywhere if it's raining. Then when you reach your destination you have to be able to contain both children in some fashion. One in the Ergo, one in the shopping cart? One in the car seat in the shopping cart, one in the actual basket of the cart, no groceries? One in the shopping cart, one walking (refer back to molasses analogy in previous paragraph)? It's always different depending on where you're going and what you need to do there. I'm often asked by the cashiers in Wegman's if I'll need help when I get to my car. I actually have a pretty good system for the grocery store. Reagan's in the Ergo, Carsen is in the seat of the cart. Reagan goes in the car first, then Carsen, then groceries go in the trunk. It looks worse than it is. I'm in awe of people who shop with more than 2 children (ahem -- Laura ;), but I suppose with experience you get your system down.

Ready for the amazing part?

First of all, you did it again. We have yet to stop marveling at Carsen. I'm pretty amazed by her every single day and the fact that this incredible little person is my child. I'm fairly certain this will be the case forever. Now there's another one. We did it again. And she's no less incredible than her big sister. Pretty amazing, I think. People talk about wondering how they'll love a second child as much as they love their first. It's easy. You see them, hear them, smell them, you're in love. There's no one else that will ever happen with as it does with your child. It's amazing. There's just no other experience this life has to offer that could compare to being a parent.

So while they are each so wonderful on their own, seeing them together melts my heart like I never thought possible. They simply light up at the sight of each other. Reagan smiles and laughs at Carsen more easily than anyone else. Carsen says things like, "Mom, I LOVE my baby sister. She is the BEST sister in the whole world!" or "I love Reagan. She's my BEST friend!" Of course, she's three so she doesn't necessarily grasp what it means to be the best anything in the whole world, but she clearly understands the sentiment. I love that they are sisters. I love that they will share such a special and unique bond. I love that they'll have all of the fun sister experiences I had with my sister when we were little and have now as adults. I love that they love each other in the truest and simplest way - just because of the fact that they're sisters - and so look forward to cultivating that as they grow.

There ya go. Hair-raising, and yet amazing. Totally wild and crazy and wonderful all at once. And so very worth it :)

Two Weeks Old

It's hard for us to believe, but our tiny Reagan is two weeks old already! Actually 2.5 weeks by this point as I've been composing this in opportune increments on my phone over the past several days. We are all finally feeling better from our colds which makes getting to know her even more fun. Carsen can finally kiss and snuggle her as much as she wants. It's really adorable to see her getting to be a big sister after we talked about it for so long.

Reagan has been to two check ups at the pediatrician so far and has done great at both. At 12 days she was already above her birth weight and otherwise looking perfect. Her percentiles were 80th for head circumference, 86th for weight and 97th for height. She is a great eater so I wasn't too surprised ;)

Here are some photos from the past two weeks that happen to be on my phone . I can't believe how much she's changing already. Everyone says she looks like Josh. She also looks almost exactly like Carsen when she was a newborn which is kind of fun :)