In Honor of Tax-free Week

Ordinarily I try to avoid discussing politics outright on my blog, but it's tax-free week in the great state of Maryland. Sales tax, that is. You can shop in Maryland this week without paying our too-high-if-you-ask-me 6% sales tax! Isn't that fabulous? In honor of it, and with a little inspiration from a tax/wealth redistribution conversation I had with a friend of mine this morning, I'm going to talk about taxes. Oh, it's your favorite topic? How did I know?

Tax-free week of course is intended to encourage people to go out and shop. You get your goodies for less than the usual price because you basically get a 6% discount on everything. That's pretty sweet if you ask me. It works because as common sense tells us, when things cost less or when we have more money to spend, people will spend money. This in turn is good news for an ailing economy. Sadly, tax-free week isn't quite enough to drag us up out of the current economic slump, but it will make numbers look pretty so that politicians can brag a little about "growth."

That said, the conversation I had with a friend earlier today was sparked by this article written by well known philanthropist and super wealthy guy, Warren Buffet. In it, he states that the super rich in America just aren't paying enough in taxes. For my friend and I, this translated into a redistribution of wealth conversation. His (my friend) big question was, why do "have-nots" defend the "haves" when it comes to paying taxes? I don't really consider myself a "have-not" but compared to the mildy affluent-super rich, I guess I have not. Whatever. Anyway my answer to his question was simply this- to me personally, it's just common sense. I have never understood how having less while others have more gives anyone the right to anyone else's earned income. 

I like to look at it without the filter of the government and taxes, person-to-person. Most of us probably know people who earn less money than we do. On that principle alone, if you were not already paying taxes, would you run to those people on pay day and write them checks from your own bank account to make sure that yours and their incomes were the same? If not, are you a greedy (insert mean name)? Flip the coin. I'm sure even more of us know people who earn more money than we do. Our parents are probably example numero uno. On pay day, again if not for taxes, would we demand that those people fork over a portion of their pay so that we took home the same amount of money as them? Would that seem fair and reasonable? Or are those people greedy (insert mean name) if they didn't volunteer to do that?

Let's make me an example. I'm a teacher. We earn not-so-much compared to a lot of other professions. Many of my peers earned $10k+ more than I did with a master's degree. So as a teacher, with teacher training and degrees, does it make sense that I go home with the same pay as a highly skilled surgeon? A rocket scientist? A computer engineer? A CEO of a multi-billion dollar company? Some would say yes, I suppose. My response would be that I get paid for my level of skills and training, and for what I do. By the same token, I don't think I owe a portion of my (already minimal) income to someone who sells fake hair pieces in the mall so that our incomes are equal. Teaching children is more valuable to society and the world than fake hair. You don't deserve the same income! Call me harsh, but if you flip burgers your job is less important than a surgeon saving lives. Twist it around to claim the burger-flipper is providing nutrition and a basic need and all that. What would we do without them? Still. The surgeon is more valuable. People don't depend solely on burgers for nutrition, but they sure as heck need a talented and skilled neurosurgeon to operate on their brain if they want to survive. But why go to the effort of being a neurosurgeon if you can flip burgers (or sell fake hair!) for the same income?

Let's do a student-based analogy. You're a hard worker and you study at least 15 hours per week for your classes. You always complete your assignments on time and to the best of your ability. For you, your education and school work is top priority and when you get an A, you probably feel that you deserve it for all of your hard work. Would it then be fair to say that your classmate who got a D deserves part of your grade because you got so many points and he got so few?? The poor guy! How will he pass the class?  There you sit with all your points, and As, and extra credit, and poor Classmate barely has a 60%. What are you, some kind of monster? Certainly it is your responsibility to boost his grade with all your extra points since he just has none. It doesn't matter why- he may have tried and not done well, he may be in a class-level above his ability, or he may just be sleeping in class knowing that you'll earn enough points for the both of you. The simple fact that you have so many and he has so few means that you owe him your points. In fact, the teacher will take them anyway. Now all of your hard work earns you Cs while Classmate is also earning Cs for the work he is not doing and the information he has not mastered. Still feel like putting in all those hours of studying? Didn't think so.

I simply can't find the logic in claiming that the fact of having more or less either entitles you to someone else's money or means that you owe what you've earned and worked for to someone else. WHY? I get that there are people struggling and in need. Help exists and I strongly believe in it, when used responsibly. Yes, I agree the rich could pay more taxes because they can afford it. But there are certainly a lot of people (a little less than half the population) out there who pay NO taxes, or better yet NEGATIVE taxes - the government pays them - who could pitch in a little too. If we're going to talk about fairness here, why do few pay most of the taxes while many pay none? Should we go all-out and make the tax rate flat across the board? No, of course not. But according to the spoiled child philosophy of "he has something I don't have, make him give it to me!" that would serve to reason.

My bottom line is that people deserve to keep and spend the money they earn. If you're a smart enough investor to make money with money - you deserve it! No one else took part in that (that didn't already get paid), therefore they do not, by principle of having less than you, deserve your money. I don't care how many billions of dollars you have. I certainly think you should help the less-fortunate by donating to worthy causes, but I don't believe you should be forced to surrender it by law (beyond a reasonable tax rate) simply because you have it and someone else doesn't. I do, however, find it a little comical that a well-known philanthropist brags in the article about how little he had to pay in taxes. Perhaps he has written off a few of his gigantic charitable donations???

Ok, this is long enough and I think (I think) I've made my point. Down off the soapbox I go. Do feel free to share your own thoughts/feelings on the article, taxes, or anything I've said. Am I wrong? Tell me why. I'd absolutely love to hear the rational (key word!) explanation for why "have nots" deserve money from the "haves."

Weekend Update!

Sorry I don't have Jimmy Fallon and/or Tina Fey to share with you the excitement that was my weekend - or more appropriately to make wisecracks about my weekend. But it was a fun weekend, and I was actually there so I can tell it better anyway.

Friday I spent the day cooking. I love cooking, especially for other people. I think it is just the sincerest way to show a person you care. It's meeting our most basic human need and if we can do it with a bit of style and pizzazz it can be really meaningful.

Part of my cooking on Friday was some BBQ beef brisket and stuffed shells that I was taking to friends of ours who are recovering from a tragedy in their lives. Food doesn't actually do anything to make it better, but I'm hoping that it saved them a tiny bit of additional stress over planning, shopping for and preparing a meal. Of course I hope it let them know that I care about them and want to help them feel better, too. I wish the circumstance hadn't come up at all, but I loved being able to do something for them. I took the food to their house on Friday night and had a quick little visit with them. It was nice to see them and get to chat a little. They seemed to be doing well considering all. 

The other food I made on Friday was a double batch of black-bottom brownie cupcakes. Sorry, it was too late at night for me to remember to take photos! I wung it (a term borrowed from my friend, Jeremy) a little since I had never made them before and they ended up being a big hit. They were for my sister-in-law, Jenna's baby shower on Saturday afternoon.

The shower was lots of fun. We had a packed house and torrential rain - always a great party combo :)  A handful of folks showed up that hadn't RSVPed, so there was some scrambling to make sure we were covered but no one seemed to notice. Score!

My new nephew, Eli is pretty well stocked for the first 6 months of his life at least. You just can't help but have a good time celebrating a new baby in the family. All those cute clothes and baby-life accessories.... why are there not adult equivalents of some of these things?

Not to mention it ups the anticipation of his arrival considerably. There are currently 6 grandchildren on my side of the family (children of my siblings and I) and I have to say that waiting for the 7th is just as exciting as any of the rest! Ten more weeks... :)

This morning we woke up to an extreme downpour. I love sleeping when it's raining. The sound is just soothing. So I dozed for a little while until our bebe girl woke up... 2 hours later than usual! All that partying yesterday must have worn her out. We had a lazy morning- made some breakfast, sipped some coffee, and just watched and giggled as Bebe toddled around the living room. She is way into shoes these days, so we pulled out her favorite pair for her to play with and stomp around in. You never get how amusing it can be to watch a baby until you have your own! The forecast called for rain all day, but about noon the sky started to clear. When Bebe took her nap I headed out to the grocery store. We are now stocked for the week which makes me oh-so-happy! I'm not always the best at grocery shopping on the weekends, so that leads to a long week of "What do you want for dinner? I don't know, what do we have? I don't know..." Blah, I hate that conversation. So this week will be easy! Yippee :)

The rest of the afternoon is up for grabs at this point. It's still sunny so we could potentially go outside for a walk or something of that nature. My husband has been hard at work this morning packing up a bunch of his basement stuff that has sold on eBay so he may continue that. Once he's on a roll he pretty much likes to power through so, we'll see! Hopefully everyone else has enjoyed a lovely weekend as well :)

The Big Purge

Way back when my husband and I got married - almost 4 years ago - we had each been living on our own. My husband had been out of his parents' house since college, just never went back, and I moved out of my parents' house around spring break of my first year of teaching. This of course meant that we each had collected the standard necessities (and then some) that one requires/acquires when living out on their own. We each had some kitchen utensils, bed sheets, bath towels, dishes, gadgets, computers, televisions, DVD collections, etc. Of course none of these were anything fabulous. They were the cheap, sometimes brightly colored, whatever-we-could-afford-after-college variety.

Well, we were getting married. So of course we were going to register for all the new things we would need/want in our new home together! It's one of the few times in your life you'll ever get a windfall of cash and gifts like that, so you have to take advantage. We did leave off some of the perfectly good things we already owned, and other things we registered for to replace ones we didn't want to keep. Other registry items simply added to the collection.

All of this combining of resources + registering for new resources left us with a pretty packed house. Our once spacious finished basement quickly turned into storage central. It went from a place we could envision ourselves watching movies by the fireplace, to a place you couldn't walk through in the dark without hurting yourself. My adorable husband to this day clings to the basement as a livable space. He spends hours "working" down there. I'm not sure what he does exactly, but I know it's in an effort to make the space usable again. Sadly, with the same amount of stuff and the same amount of space, it just hasn't happened despite his hours of hard work.

Now, my husband and I are generally opposites when it comes to one thing. He is a collector, and I am a hater of "stuff."  If it does not have a function, I see no point in owning it. I really dislike things that are merely for sitting and dusting around. Yes, I love photos of my family on shelves and walls, and a cutely decorated shelf here and there. But I reserve those for the things I find most special and want to look at every single day. My husband would probably love to look at his collections every single day, but the problem is his collections have grown beyond the space we have to display them. Therefore they sit. Stored. Not visible at all. After having some chats about the fact that we may never own a home with that much disposable space, I think we are on the path to parting with some of our stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm not innocent. I have my own sort of collections -  clothes, shoes, purses (so many purses!), and various other useful-but-not-used items. I am looking forward to paring those collections down as well.

We have established a game plan, chosen areas of the house we want to work on first and set goals for when we want them to be finished. We established a permanent "donation bin" and have made it our goal to deposit one item per day in it. I don't mean this shirt today, and those shoes tomorrow. I mean clothing one day, shoes, the next, etc. I would love to keep this up for a year and see how our house looks 365 items lighter!

I think the bottom line is that we can live and function very happily with much less than what we are currently "storing" in our house. Plus the less we have, the less we have to clean and maintain and worry about. The purge is about reclaiming space and time. Where things used to be stored, we'll have living space. Time that was spent cleaning or re-arranging can be spent enjoying each other, the world and our home again. A bonus is that we'll save a few bucks not buying things we don't need in an effort to avoid refilling our space.

Hopefully this has not given anyone the false impression that we are hoarders. Yes, my husband likes to collect things, but we have a clean, healthy and safe living environment. We're just looking to pare down and free up some space :) I do intend to take before and after pictures of our project areas, but I'll wait to post them until the area is done. The date we set to be finished with our main level is mid-September, so I will gladly post some pictures around that time when things are all put together. I've never undertaken an overhaul of this proportion, but the thought of it is very exciting as cleaning and organizing are two of my favorite things to do! So wish us luck and stay tuned for updates on our progress :)

Lots of Love

Most parents have kissed a boo boo, or snuggled a little one who is scared by something. Recently though, I've also realized that a lot of parents out there seem to think it's important to raise a child that's "tough." No one wants their kid to be a whiner or a cry baby, but I was somewhat disturbed by things that I've heard some parents say to and about their very small children (barely toddlers) with regards to them not being, well, babies for lack of a better term.

As someone who has spent nearly ten years studying children and their development, I'm hardly a seasoned expert or doctor. But I feel like I know enough to speak on a friendly level to the general mom-population and say that affection is important. It's not just important, it's essential. I would guess that most people who have not studied children or child development are not necessarily familiar with attachment theory. If you're one of them, this simple article gives a good, concise explanation. Attachment theory basically explains the connection between parenting styles and child development. Everything from physical to emotional health is affected by a child's bond with their parent or primary caregiver. The stronger the bond, the more secure and well-adjusted the child becomes as they grow into adulthood.

I can see how people might think withholding affection will make their kids less dependent on it. It's logical thinking that making too big of a deal over minor issues might teach even a baby to over-react and require lots of attention. I certainly wouldn't suggest that. But I'm a strong believer that if your baby or toddler is crying after a fall that probably didn't hurt, they are looking for the love and reassurance that all children need. Maybe they're actually tired, or hungry, or over stimulated, or maybe they just need a hug. They simply need to know that when they "fall" physically, mentally, or emotionally, that their parents are there for them. Someone once told my baby that she should "get over it" when she had been startled by a fall that probably didn't hurt all that much. That person was not a parent but I sure hope that when they are, they will be a little more understanding with their own 1-year old. I have heard other parents brag about their children, again toddler-age and younger, being tough because they fell down and the parent didn't give it any attention. It's one thing to ignore something your child ignores, but if your baby is upset, just give them a hug! This article even discusses a connection between "extravagant affection" from parents and adults who experience less anxiety, emotional distress, and hostility. Just saying.

So if you're a parent who gives lots of love and hugs and kisses, don't feel bad. You're doing them good. If you're a parent trying to make your kid "tough" by not giving affection when your little one asks for it, then you're probably just making them cry and whine more to get the attention they need. If you're someone who thinks that my baby is "over-loved" well, stick it.

Birthday #12

Yesterday we celebrated my niece, Lacy's 12th birthday. Isn't she looking so much older than 12 in this photo? It's freaking me out. Big time.

She was the cutest though and got all dolled up in this adorable dress and new earrings and a necklace. When I was turning 12 I was nowhere near that put-together. My sister gave her tickets to see Selena Gomez and a kitten for her birthday. One heck of a birthday if you ask me. How do you top that the following year??

 The kitten is named Jack... Jack Sparrow. 

 This is my Bebe with my brother. Her dress was so cute I couldn't help taking a bunch of pictures of her, even though it was my niece's party.

 Delicous ice cream cake from a local homemade ice cream shop. I thought they did a pretty fabulous job of decorating it too.

We had a lovely time, once the shock of how grown up Lacy is wore off. When people talk about how fast kids grow up they simply aren't joking. I truly feel like she was just a pre-schooler a year or two ago. She has grown up into quite a young lady though. On top of being so cute and put-together, she is an incredible student and has gotten straight As for as long as I can remember. I went to her 5th grade graduation last year and she was that kid who was up on stage for every single award. She is popular with her friends and is one of the most kind-hearted and open minded children I've ever met. Kids, especially middle schoolers, can be real jerks. I am proud to say that she has not turned into one of those kids. She is learning to play guitar, and plays clarinet in the school band. She really wants to sing and act when she grows up but I think she's way too smart for that. Alas, in 6th grade I probably had aspirations of being a famous actress my own self. I like that she's still young enough to dream about what she thinks would be fun rather than just the practical reality of what will pay the bills. I miss those days.

It might be hard for me to handle her being so grown up- I miss the crazy munchkin she used to be (the one that thought she and I were sisters), but I am loving the kid she is growing up into :)

Happy Birthday, Lace/Space/Yace/Zippers!

The Boys are Back in Town!

After a summer full of question marks about the NFL lockout and whether or not there would even be a season, we jumped at the chance to go watch our team practice this morning! Parking and admission were free, we just showed up and had fun! I knew I was in the spirit when my husband said "incline" and I began frantically looking around for ANQUAN Boldin before realizing we were walking up hill. Oops!  Here are the pictures from our Bebe's first ever M&T Stadium experience...

Giving the "touchdown" sign! Yes, our 15-month old is trained to do that when we yell the word "touchdown"  :) 

 Giving the boys a round of applause

Is there a cuter Ravens fan?? No, no there is not.

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law

Maybe you can tell by our faces, but we were so thrilled to be there and to see our guys out on the field. We had a great time! Our Bebe has come to recognize the Ravens' logo and was excited to see that everywhere. And from being exposed to Os games and Ravens games for the entirety of her life, she knew exactly when to shout, clap and dance. Our purple hearts were practically leaping out of our chests. We could not have been prouder. And now, we wait excitedly and impatiently for our first pre-season game on Thursday night!

Good thing that it's about this time every year that the Os tank (or are completely beyond hope). We love those guys, but we are ready for some FOOTBALL!

Some Recent Cuteness

We haven't done anything different today than we did yesterday, so I decided to spare you from reading the same recap of our morning and instead post a whole bunch of pictures of my adorable child. You're welcome!!

So on Wednesday she woke up with the most ridiculous bed-head. I thought it was so cute I literally left it alone for the entire day... and took around 100 pictures.

Later on Wednesday evening we had pancakes for dinner because my hubby had a rough day and he loves pancakes. I made blueberry ones for her and she loved them!

On Thursday I decided to give her a little piggy-tail on top of her head to keep that crazy hair out of her face. I guess her hair was going to have the last word, because this piggy-tail looked more like a pinwheel on the side of her head.

"Take this, Kate Middleton with your silly fascinators!"

Today she got into her pile of (clean!) diapers and had a blast. 

She started throwing them on the floor, so I started throwing them back to her... ok, at her. It was hilarious! :)

First date? Prom night? Wedding? Check. Check. Check.

I'll stop there so I don't overwhelm you. She is pretty cute though, right? I mean, any kid who looks that adorable in a pile of diapers.... I'm just saying. I'm probably alienating readers left and right who realize that I've taken an unacceptable number of photos of my baby's hair, and followed those with pictures of her playing with her diapers. Such is life around here! When you're confined to four walls for 5 straight days you begin to find amusement in these types of things.

Stay tuned though... there is some actual excitement coming up over the next weeks and months. I can honestly say, despite what it means for the weather, I am looking forward to this fall! :)

(no, we're not pregnant)