Well, here goes the inaugural attempt...
I actually kind of hate to start with this story because rather than being side-splitting hilarious it's more one of those that makes you cringe and wonder what is up with kids these days. But alas, it's what I've got and it will make me feel better to share because I was a little outraged by it myself.
My students are very aware that they are not allowed to eat or drink in my classroom except for water, otherwise I'd be cleaning up after their crumbs and wrappers and spills non-stop. So one of my students who really enjoys pushing buttons (and limits) brings food and drink back from the cafeteria with him after lunch as he has many many times before. This is a child that, when told to throw away his food, will stand at the trash can and finish devouring whatever it is before he throws the trash away and takes his seat - all the while claiming to have done exactly what he was told.
So today, again, I say "you need to throw away your food." His response is to hold up his index finger (as if to tell me to wait), finish sucking down his Capri Sun, and then dispose of his trash and sit down. I'm so tired of him doing this that while he's standing there ignoring my direction and telling me to wait, I say "ok, since you're still eating and drinking after I've told you not to, that gets you written up." He doesn't hear me because he doesn't pay attention to anything I say. He takes his seat and I place the form on his desk for him to sign. He looks at me and says, "Are you serious?!" I tell him that I am serious and explain that since he has done this many times, he is being written up for not following rules. He then tells me that this is "BS" and that he's not going to sign the form. I remind him that refusal to sign the form would get him an automatic office referral, so he should probably just sign it. As he signs the form and hands it back to me, he offers this warning... "If anyone is contacted about this, I'm going to have a story to tell at dinner time." In other words- if you tell my parents, I'm going to tattle on you about something else.
Ummm, say what?!
Was that a threat? I think it was. Do I care? Am I afraid of your mommy and daddy, or whatever "story" you're planning to tell? I do not, and I am not. So I informed him that any time a student is written up, parents are notified, so I guess he'll have a story to tell at dinner.
Can you believe this? Is it any wonder no one wants to be a teacher?