Saturday, September 28, 2013

Fall Is Not My Season

You know when you have a negative/difficult/painful experience and it kind of haunts {no pun intended} that time of year for you? When that month or season rolls around again you get kind of anxious and some of the feelings you had related to that experience start to creep back into your head. That is now fall for me. I don't love fall to begin with. It's nothing about fall specifically that I dislike, it's actually quite a beautiful season, but it's both a signal of the end of summer and the impeding doom of winter {post-holidays, anyway}. Last fall was not good for me. And this year as fall quietly overtakes my beloved summer, I'm anxious. It's not that I expect the same things to happen all over again, I'm just reminded of them. Everything about fall is reminding me of what was going on this time last year. I just wanted fall to rush by so I could get to the holidays and have something happy to focus on. Of course, this is a new year with new things going on. There's lots of great, exciting stuff to look forward to, but also stuff I'm pretending isn't there. I find myself hoping to just breeze past fall and wake up one day happily on the other side. That can happen in real life, right?

In an effort to focus on the positive and not miss out on life, here's what I'm excited about this fall...
- I'm running my first half marathon in 2 weeks. Bonus: loving my long runs outside in the fall weather!
- I'm doing a Montessori-style preschool program {self-designed, nothing official} with Carsen, she is loving it. I'll write more on it later.
- Reagan is about to hit some really fun milestones. She started sitting on her own this week, she has a tooth, she has started babbling (bababa and mamama) and we're starting foods next week. Between now and Christmas she'll likely be crawling :)
- The roughly dozen birthdays we celebrate between our two families starting in October
- Our annual trip to the pumpkin patch with all the kids in my family. Seriously one of my favorite days of the year.
- Another holiday season full of family gatherings and yummy food :)
- Making priceless happy memories to help me feel better about fall again

Deep breath. I can do this. Here we go...

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