Remember that time I said I'd blog again when I got both babies to sleep at the same time again? Well, here I am. Granted I've been here in the interim, like just a little bit ago when Austin kindly allowed me to upload some Valentine's day photos of my sweet Baby Girl. So how's that babysitting gig going, anyway?
Well Mr. Austin (now 3 1/2 months) is very cute, that's for sure. The adjustment to having a 9 month old AND a 3 month old is still, well, an adjustment. We are in a pretty good groove as daily routines go. There are always those days here and there that are off. The beginning of the week tends to be bumpier than the end since everyone's schedules get a little thrown off over the weekends. But, alas, we manage.
The biggest adjustments for me have been 1) Giving up time with my own baby, and 2) Giving up time, period. I know what you're thinking, I'm still at home taking care of my own baby so how bad can it be taking care of one more? Judge me as you wish, but I miss my baby during the day when I have to split my time between her and Austin. There is a good reason (beyond biology) people don't have infants 6 months apart in age. Both are so needy when it comes to your time and attention that it is exhausting and impossible to care for both as they would demand. It has been really hard for me to watch my baby crying for me to hold her while I have to do something for Austin instead. I know she'll be fine and isn't going to hate me when she's older or anything like that. I'm just saying it's hard, that's all. On the other hand, sometimes I have to do something for her that Austin isn't always happy about. Three things that come to mind which I can't do while holding him are change her diaper, feed her (nursing or baby food), and lay her down for her nap. For a little bit they were napping in a staggered pattern so that Austin fell asleep first, I could take my baby upstairs for her nap while Austin slept, and then he would wake up shortly after I got back downstairs. That was really nice because I got to spend a lot of time with each of them individually. For some reason that pattern came to an end. Now Austin wakes up just as I'm taking my baby up for her nap. Not only does that mean I have to hope that he stays happy while I'm nursing her and she's falling asleep (go ahead and judge me for that too, then ask me if I care), but it usually means he has napped for a whopping 30 minutes.
I deal by reminding myself that I'm at home and my baby is safe and happy and I am the one taking care of her. I know it's much worse for moms who have to adjust to taking their babies to sitters or day care. A huge part of my decision to make the financial sacrifice and stay home was that I knew I couldn't have done that. I would have if it were absolutely necessary of course, but knowing there was an option, I couldn't have done it.
The other struggle for me is having no time for anything else. Austin is here approximately 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. He leaves a between 4-5 pm. My baby girl is usually napping at that time so if I did have errands to run or anywhere to go, I have to wait for her to wake up (usually 5:30-6:00). Beyond that, making appointments is nearly impossible. Doctor's offices are rarely open that late and if they are the evening hours are so tough to schedule because everyone else who has to schedule after work is looking for the same spot you are. I won't even delve into trying to go out to the store at that hour. I know lots of you probably deal with these things as part of your every day life, and I'm sorry if this sounds whiny to you. I'm not saying these things are devastating and extraordinary circumstances. I'm just saying it has been an adjustment for me, not looking for pity.
And with that, my tiny darling has just awoken from her nap and I can't wait to snuggle her before Austin is also awake.
Until next time...